You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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