So drunk its hurt
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
