i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
