I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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