he puts the penis in happiness.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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