Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
