I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
