good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
