yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
