I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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