he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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