So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
