You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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