We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
