I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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