WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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