i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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