Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
