it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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