Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
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