i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
