hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
