This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
