My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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