$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
