Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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