i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
