I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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