Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
