his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
