so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize