so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
