This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
