just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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