8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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