Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
