Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
