I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
