Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
