How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
