so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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