Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You smell like stripper and shame
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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