I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
