I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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