i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
