What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
