thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
