Fuck appropriateness.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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