i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
