I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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