She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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