Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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