I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
