dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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