we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
