Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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