it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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