just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
