yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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