remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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