And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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