Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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