Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
